It's been a very busy Christmas season, of course, even at Bible School. Right now they are setting up Christmas decorations all over the castle, especially for the northern english who come on holiday here for the Christmas/New Years season. They're not all red and green, the decorations...some look like the could be perfect for mardi gras. I kid you not. The Christmas concert, in which I performed, and co-directed the choir, and arranged music, went really well. There were a lot of old Brits who had been coming since the 70s who said it was the best concert they'd ever seen at Capernwray. It was fun, but I'm relieved it's over. I'm really excited to see my family this week. We're going to London for a few days, then joining every Thiel in Morocco (of all places). My prediction of the highlights: Seeing the Grecian urns in the museum (beauty is truth, truth beauty...keats...etc.) and Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera (some three-chord song show that's apparently really exciting)...don't exactly know what to expect from Morocco. Sunny weather?

Some Christmasy quotes from John Donne's Sonnets:

Oh let me then, his strange love still admire:
Kings pardon, but he bore our punishment.
And Jacob came clothed in vile harsh attire
But to supplant, and with gainful intent:
God clothed himself in vile mans flesh, that so
He might be weak enough to suffer woe.


And as a robbed man, which by search doth find
His stolen stuff sold, must lose or buy it again;
The Son of glory came down, and was slain,
Us whom he had made, and Satan stolen, to unbind.
'Twas much, that man was made like God before,
But, that God should be made like man, much more.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I had a really nice Thanksgiving yesterday. They had a special evening, with no lectures, and cooked turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and apple pie and green beans. It was very delicious. And people dressed up like pilgrims and indians (although the british wore their colors and painted their flag all over their faces, and the canadians insisted that it wasn't REALLY thanksgiving. They must be jealous the pilgrims didn't land in canada or something. Ottawa rock doesn't have the same ring.) I also got to play some american football. Of note was a pass I caught after cutting out into the open, then scoring a touchdown, then receiving the congratulations of all the women of capernwray who were watching us play. It was nice to play a sport I'm actually good at. Our indoor cricket season has been dismal. I'm getting better at batting though, which had been a challenge for me before. I tended to hit line drives that were easy to catch off the walls. Low and hard is the way to go. There was a moment on the football field yesterday when I was asking a guy on staff at Capernwray the specifics of a certain play, and he politely listened to all my questions before telling me, "I'm English. I have no clue." That's why American sports are the best. They are controlled. Even monkeys could chase a soccer ball for an hour and a half. Today there are Christmas decorations all over, lights, a tree, etc., and someone brought charlie brown christmas music, which I've been playing. It's very nice.

A blog of John, to the tune of "It's Business Time"

It's update, it's update time Selah

So here are some of the things that are going on with me right now. I almost put "Random thoughts for a Saturday morning" but didn't want to plagiarize that much, whatever her name is who writes for the Stockton Record. Although I'm in a wee bit of a random mood right now. As the famous facebook flair says: I'm not random; you just can't think as fast as I.

-The last week has been busy. Although we have only a little bit of homework, it's such a relative thing that I feel I've been doing a lot of it. We had a cool assignment where this genderless woman/man named Ashley (you pick) "wrote" us a letter asking about every question you can think of concerning the Holy Spirit, somehow weaving it into the story of her/his walk with God, and we were to respond with lots of Bible verses and pastoral care...so if anyone has any questions about the Holy Spirit, I'll be happy to copy and paste for you...it'll be answered somewhere in my short but dense response to Ashley.
-They have a Christmas concert for the locals every St. Patrick's day, nay, Christmas...and I, not knowing what I got myself into, am c0-directing the choir(s). We just auditioned everyone last week, and posted the choir today. These next few weeks, until 15 December, I'll be arranging music, helping people learn to sing, teaching the hallelujah chorus from Handel's The Messiah. I'm really excited about it though. Envision how we start the whole concert off. The (unsophisticated) lighting is dim. There is a guitarist plucking away acoustically. A female voice sings O come o come Emanuel and ransom captive Israel...followed by another...until the Son of God appear....and by then the rest of the choir has formed down the isles for a loud and harmonious REJOICE REJOICE chorus. Then we'll become progressively more jazzy with fun seventh chords to emphasize the words (like Dayspring etc. very nice lyrics in this song) and perhaps some vocal percussion.
-I just caught up on the new season of the Office last night. Love it, all of it. And I recently experienced the British office for the first time....awful...alright i guess, good acting, but too awkward, the characters aren't as endearing, and a lot more offensive, especially towards minorities (in the episode i saw). it would be off the air within minutes if they showed it in America.
-One sad thing: I won't be going to Africa this spring. They had a ten-day outreach to Kenya to do sports and school ministry, but I wasn't accepted. It's a little tough to be rejected, but there were many that applied, and they can't take everyone. So I'll be doing something in the UK instead. Don't know what yet, but I hope to be in schools/working with kids or something. British children, I hear, are just as much children as Kenyan children, and they need to here the gospel. It's actually really interesting to be in England and hear about the state of the Church and all. People seem, I don't know?, desperate. As if the Church was on it's last legs here. I've heard a lot about revivalism and revival theology, if that is a term, a lot more than in America. It all makes me want to get out there and share Jesus with people, which is hard because the school's a little bit isolated. All this is to say, I'll be happy to do whatever I end up doing in the spring, and the Holy Spirit will prepare me for it.
-It's a bright sunny day, and I'm listening to Rachmaninov's 4th piano concerto in G minor...which is excellent. I'm so glad I'm Russian so I can claim to feel his music in keeping with my heritage.
-Grace, peace, and love in faith!

Well, it's a good day here at Capernwray. Of course, every day is, but it's not Guy Fawkes Day all the time (no I'm not blowing up anything) and one doesn't always wake up to the thrilling news of his country's election. I actually didn't get a lot of sleep last night...so nervous...and when I finally did, it was to be woken up an hour later to hear the development of blue states seemingly across the board...How exciting! You know, it is funny...Pretty much all the Germans and Canadians and British are happy today also...and I've been getting A LOT of "Oh, really, Obama? You're the first American I've talked to who is not quaking in fear." Or something like that. It's good that America has come to it's senses--on par with the Europeans.
Well, enough of that. Don't want to offend the broad readership of this blog...lol. I was reading Galatians today and came across that lovely bit about us all being one in Christ Jesus...neither Jew nor Gentile, male nor female, slave nor free...it's heartening to realize that Christ is what we are striving for and that our God is a God of unity and peace.
I had a great time in Edinburgh last weekend (apparently it's pronounced Edinboro or Edinbra or something like that). We had an extended weekend for travel and so I spent Friday-Monday there. It was brilliant, as the british say. The castle is spectacular. There were so many cool cathedrals. What an exciting medieval town! I didn't really venture far into the new town, but I hear it's great as well. Some highlights: Choral Evensong in St. Mary's Cathedral...The prettiest Scottish liturgies drenched with poliphany by the most beautiful old and young voices! It was almost unearthly, which I suppose is the aim. A great free walking tour of the city...so much cool history...really interesting people and places. Edinburgh is such a bizarre little place...and very creepy. I'm glad to say I've experienced what is arguably the most haunted city in Europe on Halloween/Nevada Day/Reformation Day, but we quickly observed that Halloween means something drastically different in the UK. We were all safe that night, but their were a lot of occult practices/drinking going on. One of the coolest places in Edinburgh was this graveyard outside of St. John's Church. The leaves were falling and the sun was setting. Set apart from the rest of the city, being sunken a little down a hill, it was very peaceful, especially when the labyrinth-like path opened out into a view of the castle and a park with lots of fountains. I wrote this poem about this old graveyard.

Sunken in the softer stagnance
Where the weary earth gathers from the cold
Breathless currents of submerging--
One touch of moss and muddy flowers
To lay a tender bed.
One breath beneath the leaves
The sunken world pours
into the constance
of the city pathways and
and eyes unperceiving--
Fading Eternal repose
Where the holy lay their Head.
And so they shall Ever be with Him.

My favorite part of the trip was hiking up to King Arthur's seat, this huge volcano right outside the city. It was sunny all for days (what a treat) and it was a clear day when we hiked. I felt like I could see all of Scotland from the top--definitely the North Sea, and the hole city that I had explored the last two days. I can't wait to go to Edinburgh...although I can't think when.
I guess I should also say that I tried haggis. And enjoyed it. Probably won't go for it again. Other good foods. Irn Bru is nice, and I discovered the reason I was put on this planet when I sunk my teeth into a deep-fried Mars Bar. I had some good chips and scampy, and one night we went to a really cool jazz bar with really lively original music...the best was when the really cool tenor saxiphonist whipped out a soprano sax and started grooving for one song...and when the kind of stiff trumpet player literally started drinking up on stage and, beginning to loosen up, started playing better solos, in my opinion. It was an older band, and as free and energetic as the music was, they always new where they were going with the music. (I should say I know little about jazz, so this is just an impression). Hope everyone's doing well.

I was sitting in a lecture on prayer, which has been very moving and exciting, and she was nearing the end of her lecture, the lecturer, that is, and I was thinking about my desire to speak or tell someone about the insights I had been gleaning from this lecture. Then an image came into my head, to describe the way I was feeling, and I immediately flipped to the back of my notebook and ripped out a page and began to write, and the images and music, the structure and, well, the words, kept flooding, until I had this poem in about two minutes. It's very exciting when this happens, but it's never happened this rapidly, and with such a complex and integrated poem.

I have words

I have words
Waiting to cry out
Waiting to scream and wail
Through weeping sing.

We know that words
Wait in worlds around us
Looking like the shafts of light
To settle in the movement of my soul
Like rays that lend a gracious hue.

And I have words to the Eternal
And though they came from me they came from You.
Once waiting on Your dwelling heart
They wait on You
Through groaning truth
And ceaseless praise.

Here are a few more poems that I have written since Bible School started.

Written Oct. 9

Lord, You have set my mind upon Your thrown
My heart upon Your glory.
From where else can my hope be found?
You have set my soul upon Your steadfast love
My body on Your Sabbath’s endless rest.
And You have set Your Spirit on my spirit.
You’ve unearthed joy to seal my very soul.

Here’s another. Oct.11. If you have questions about this one, I’d love to answer them…it’s about how God really put a lot of my spiritual journey into perspective. Very pivotal, to make a huge understatement. Here goes:

My spirit was embittered
And I wondered if Your word had
Once or ceased to light my path.
But then You laid me in green pastures
Let me see the quiet waters
Living waters which You used to light my way—
Like Asaph in the comfort of Your temple,
Which I know in me You’ve made—
And then I understood.

Like Moses, You have made me stand,
But You lead me in Your promised land.

And one more. This isn’t spiritual, in the faith sense. I’ve been listening finally to some heavy Rachmaninoff. It was funny actually, the other day it was work day and the women of Capernwray were going to clean our rooms..so we set out tea and cookies and chocolate for them to consume while my “Tea Time” playlist of classical and romantic music played on. They loved the music, and lately I haven’t been able to put the piano concertos down. Anyways, here’s the poem, inspired by his second concerto in C minor, the best key.

Piano Concerto

Rachmaninoff bids the whole world listen
With brightness hope, with sorrow sing.
Each conjecture glowing in its fermentation
Beweeps each melody to its grave.
In wrestling we cede our sighs.
In rest our aspirations writhe in pain.
Sweet glints of specters vibrate in our bones
And we, entrenched in darkness, glimpse
That passed climax
The denouement
That zenith spent.
What souls behold no mind can breathe.


In other news, I have had delicious Yorkshire pudding two days in a row now, and I finally sent off my absentee ballot, with the help of a charming English lady who couldn’t believe I was from California because of my “very clear diction.” One more vote in the bag for my old baseball coach, and a presidential nominee I’ve never liked, and the propaganda mail didn’t help…READ the book of Exodus…it will change your life!

I saw an amazing sunset the other day from the castle tower (not to be confused with the clock tower, under which I live.) It is such a hackneyed subject, sunsets, so it suffice to say that it was as good as anyone could imagine it--that it was a clear day, with lots of clouds, which became very orange and glowing. The best part was that just to the right of the "luminous area" (to steal a phrase from Joseph Conrad) was the mountains (hills really) of the Lake District, and that the place the sun actually set was right over the ocean. When all I see all day is rolling green hills and sheep, I did not realize how close I was to the Irish Sea. If conditions had been right, I probably would have seen a green flash. But both views, the Lake District and the sea, have been in places that I spent some time last weekend. The trip to the Lake District was amazing. We went to two Lakes, Windmere and Grassmere. And they were amazing. Of course, it was raining worse than the staff admit to it ever have been on this hike, so there was a lot of trudging through veritable waterfalls and such. But it was amazing to see the mountains through the fog and stand just three feet from the rim of the swelling Grassmere, seeing the wind's rippling and being drenched. It was absolutely spectacular. This was followed by lunch in a nice cafe, where I ordered what I thought would be the grossest thing on the menu, which it was: This cheesy broccoli pie that was chilled. But the Earl Grey Tea was great. We also got lost on the trip, running up and down the hills trying to find the bus stop in the wrong direction. But I made it back before hypothermia kicked in. The next day I went with Bethany and our friend Misty to the sea, with Uncle Bob and Aunt Jennifer. We went to KFC, which was just not the same with "chips" instead of mashed potatoes and no biscuits. But the promenade along the ocean was also spectacular. This time it was sunny and even warm at times. It's been a fun second week here and I'm getting more and more adjusted. Today it's very sunny and the hills are calling me. I'm about to go on a hike, before winning a dodgeball then volleyball tournament later today! Have a good day everyone.

Blog

Nothing short of preternatural would be the way I describe what just felt like the longest week of my life. I’m not entirely sure why I and so many other Capernwray students felt this way. For the most part the lectures were interesting, and there was always enough to do and people to meet (and remeet awkwardly). I don’t think it was out of boredom that by my fourth day here I could not believe that it was only Tuesday. Maybe it was just the sheer volume of experiences that normally would take up about four months of my life. Needfull to say, I am very tired. I often feel that I have reached my limits, as far as my extroversion is concerned, but then everyone gathers to watch the Office, or there is pizza, or a toga birthday party (I had to explain what a toga was to one of my German roommates). I’ve really enjoyed the lecture times so far, and some of the lectures. My desk has a perfect view out the window of the highest hill in sight, dotted with sheep rain or shine (they don’t shrink when it rains.) I’ve really enjoyed, and emotionally resonated, with a serious of lectures on prayer. One concept that I found very compelling was the lecturer’s discussion of temperaments and their effect on prayer life. In addition to giving very sound advice and cautions based on tendencies in one’s personality (like introverts need to learn how to pray with people, and intuitives need to ground their prayer life in Scripture rather than symbols…or anything crazy, however mysterious could happen), she gave examples of Biblical characters who fit certain temperaments. Now it all makes sense that Jeremiah and John are by far my favorite human authors of Scripture. It’s been raining a lot, but rain is still a luxury for me. When I see it, I have hope for a future where there is enough water to sustain life. It probably rained more this week than in does the whole winter in Stockton. There’s a lot of fun people here and it’s getting better and better. And at the times I needed it most, I have had really good deep conversations with people, about life or God, Genesis, what have you. In addition to becoming part of a worship team for the Capernwray winter school, I will be playing special music with a violinist and a guitarist at a local church a week from Sunday. I have also joined an indoor cricket team, and it is fun for all the Americans (there are 7 British students here, literally) to use baseball terminology while playing. “Can you field line drives?” “Nice cut.” “Pop fly last time.” “Good arm.” “Good eye.” “Hey batter batter batter…” Though I have had some insecurities and worries, I feel like God has really answered my prayers that I would be comfortable here and find places and people to fit in with. One of my biggest anxieties always hits me at the best moments, and that is that I can’t fully share my experiences with my family and friends back home. It has certainly become hard to be away, and so far at that. It doesn’t make sense that I should feel any different being two hours away rather than eight time zones way, but this is how I feel. I have a lot more respect now for people who go off to college, because I certainly didn’t understand what it would mean for me when I decided to come here, and afterward study in Pennsylvania for four years. But I’m having a great time, and right now have to get ready to watch the Office. Hope everyone’s doing well! I’m praying for you all.
-John